Today my day started as normal. I woke up early. Assembled my breakfast and sat in front of the computer to check my emails and search for some info I need. I spent 2 hours on the computer.
Next, I left to run a few errands - post office, Target, haircut, etc. After 2 hours I was back home.
Back home I was thinking about making lunch and jumping on the computer. Than for a flashing second a thought or a feeling came to me. I think it was the shimmering of sunlight coming through my bedroom window. It gave me a reminiscent feeling of something I've been missing. Something which does not exist in my life anymore.
Instead of logging on to my computer I decided to just lay back in my bean bag chair (which is very comfortable) and just take sometime to reflect. I started to think about how my life was before I got my first computer (which was in 2001).
Back then, pre-computer, a day off from work meant taking about 2 hours in my day to slow down and relax. This was my time to escape the madness of the world. I would use this time to reflect/pray/meditate. I would do deep breathing. I did this for a good ten years of my life (1992 - 2002). It was a wonderful time in my life.
But than I bought a computer in September 2001 and my life slowly changed. At first I'd be on the computer maybe 3 days out of the week - so I still spent a good amount of time on other life duties. It wasn't just all about the computer. By March 2002 I had become so involved with the computer that I was on it more like 5 days a week - by the end of 2002 I became an everyday user.
For the past 9 years I have been hooked on the computer!
Today, I spent some time in reflection. I took the time (after getting back home from doing my chores) to kick back in that bean bag chair and I got in touch. I closed my eyes and let myself relax. I thought about things I enjoy and about past experiences which filled me with cheer. I didn't spend two hours - but I did take 30 minutes of time to reflect and that made a big difference.
After I finished my reflection I walked out to the kitchen to make my lunch. This time I did not turn the computer on. I usually have the computer on while I make my lunch. I'll go back and forth between computer and making lunch. Performing those two tasks simultaneously takes up the majority of my attention.
I went ahead with making my lunch. Since I did not have my computer on my attention was freed up to other things. I ended up cleaning out my pantry - it wasn't that much a mess - I just needed to throw out a few outdated items and reorganize a bit. It was nice taking care of this easy little project. As I was making my sandwich I noticed the sun beaming through the window. I'm here in this kitchen everyday - yet I rarely notice the beautiful sunlight which bathes my kitchen. Today, I noticed it and it made me feel great. It made me feel alive.
I could go back to that life I lived in 2000. I spent a good more time with friends and family than I do now. I was outside quite a bit more. And you know each day seemed to last longer. Nowadays my days go by way too fast. I could take a few days to deactivate all my internet accounts - Facebook, MySpace, blogger, Photobucket, etc. I can close out all my email accounts and sell my computer and all of this I lived over the past 9 years will be non-existent in my life. But that's not where I want to go. The internet/computer has enhanced my life - yes, it's also distracted my life. I love all the information which is available anytime I want or need it. Being able to put together my own professional presentations and documents is pretty much a necessity for me.
In the end I know that I will not be giving up my computer, but I do need to find that time to slow it down and reflect/meditate on life. Spend more time with friends and family going to the park, sporting events, zoo, outdoor malls.
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